When a loved one, whether that be a family or close friend, opens up to you and communicates that they are depressed or are experiencing depression, our typical and eager first thought is “How Do I Help Them?” Helping, being there, and supporting a loved one is one of the most impactful things we can do for them in their time of need. However, we may not know exactly how to do it, what to say, and what they need or want from us.

So how do we help them?

Healthline gives 7 tips as to what may be helpful to a loved one with depression.

  1. “Do you want to talk about it? I’m here when you’re ready”
  2. “What can I do to help today?”
  3. “How are you managing? How is your depression?
  4. “You’re not alone. I may not understand exactly how you feel, but you’re not alone.”
  5. “You’re important to me”
  6. “That sounds like it’s really hard. How are you coping?”
  7. “I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I’m here for you if you need me.”

Findyourwords also offers phrases to say that may and may not be helpful

Helpful phrases:
“It seems like you are going through a lot right now. Can we talk about what’s bothering you? Maybe I can help.” 

“Depression is a real health issue that can be treated. What steps can you take to talk to a doctor or counselor about how you’re feeling?”

“Lately I’ve gotten the feeling that you’re having a difficult time, and I’m worried about you. What’s going on?”

“I care about you, and it seems like you’re really struggling. Would you be open to talking to a doctor or counselor about what you’re going through?”

“What can I do to support you?”

Phrases to avoid:

Don’t be so negative. Think happy thoughts.”

“Hang in there. It will pass.”

“You have no reason to be depressed.”

“Everyone gets depressed sometimes.”

“I know exactly how you feel.”

https://www.healthline.com/health/what-to-say-to-someone-with-depression#what-to-say